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i held a bird between my hands,
swallow's throat twitching in laryngeal spasms.
when i whispered gently,
lips millimeters from its ear,
'you are mine; there is nothing you can do'
it struggled, beak clicking like talon-fingernails on porcelain

i didn't mean to let it free, i swear.
it beat me back with a single shining look;
beaded gaze bruising, breaking capillaries and
bringing blood to the surface.
i would have gotten a black eye if i wasn't careful.
i wasn't.
careful, i mean. i was never careful.

with mirrored eyes i watched it fly,
wings beating in time to my heart.
my breath was a cloud of smoke,
droplets condensing in the air and
mingling with fog and foreign substances
and atmospheric debris from the
most recent vehicular excursions

it was a white day, with a white sky and
a lake of milk. i drank all of it,
particles of protein splashing onto my sunglasses.
and then i was alone:
no bird and no lake,
just an empty heart
and a stomach full of regrets and butterflies

i still wonder, sweet swallow,
if it was right to let you go.

i suppose i'll never know now, shall i?
edit: holy crap oh my god oh my god what
dfsahjkkhjdfsa thank you so much


fiction and friction

yep.

i don't know what the heck this is. it came out of my fingers without any sort of mental intervention whatsoever.

you tell me: what is this about? does the sparrow represent something? am i just spewing a load of bullshit?

(i am fascinated by thyroidal cartilage. i know, it's weird.)
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:iconsilverfleckedlullaby:
silverfleckedlullaby Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Featured here, :+favlove: for more exposure, and share the love :)
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011   Writer
to me the sparrow represents love, or a form of freedom (personal freedom). i love it! you amazing writer/poet you.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011
i'm glad you love it! thank youuuuu <3
Reply
:iconpagan-poetess:
pagan-poetess Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011  Professional Writer
gosh, this is beautiful! :) :heart:
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011
thank you!
Reply
:iconpagan-poetess:
pagan-poetess Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Professional Writer
you're very welcome! :)
Reply
:iconscarletbird:
scarletbird Featured By Owner May 17, 2011  Student Writer
Beautiful. The use of scientific language makes me think that this is someone who is trying to hold on to something (someone?) with his head when his heart is telling him to let go. I love the sense of innocence. I love the third-to-last stanza. Very well done! :heart:
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
thank you!
the technical terms tend to spill over in everything i write. . .but i'm glad it had some effect instead of just sounding silly :>
Reply
:iconscarletbird:
scarletbird Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Student Writer
welcome! :)

I love them. I think they give it a really unique flavor.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner May 19, 2011
hmm. . .tastes like science :>
Reply
:iconpereubuisjesus:
pereubuisjesus Featured By Owner May 17, 2011  Professional Artist
The tighter we hold to thingspeopleideas the more bad karma we accrue. You endeavor to control the swallow and it pings you horribly with its beak. Then, because you have so much invested in this beautiful bird, its absence causes you binge on all that is around you in an effort to fill the empty space (which is in the end not sated).

"twitching in laryngeal spasms" is really important because it starts the poem off with a really desperate tone, I think, and that's appropriate because that's what the poem's about: desperation to hold onto that fickle flash of solace.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner May 17, 2011   Writer
:+fav:
Congratulations for the DLD... :iconfireworkplz: ...You do great work. You don't "spew bullshit" at all. Thank you.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
thank you <3333333
i certainly spew something. . .but it's not all bad :>
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner May 18, 2011   Writer
:iconyourewelcomesignplz:
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner May 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
congratulations, Rachel, on your
very well earned DLD!

you've since written more that
would qualify equally.

:hug:
pip
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner May 17, 2011
<3333333
thankyouthankyou
adfkhjhsdjkfaj;
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner May 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
same to ya! :)
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner May 16, 2011
Please forgive my mistake.
News article here: [link]
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner May 16, 2011
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) and has been selected as our Pick of the Day. It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconlady-tam:
Lady-Tam Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2011
To me, it seems the swallow represents someone the person let go of/accidentally pushed away, but they don't fully understand how it happened.

Or perhaps he/she actually captured a sparrow, and is relating that experience to one with an old ex-friend/lover.
Reply
:iconrumikoholic:
rumikoholic Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
Maybe, the swallow represents a dream or ideal? As we mature, we set aside things that once gave us pleasure; we do so for many reasons. We often hold onto our dreams for as long as we can, but there comes atime when we must let go.
Reply
:iconsquimberrycupcake:
squimberrycupcake Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
I love it anyway...!
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
thank you!
Reply
:iconsquimberrycupcake:
squimberrycupcake Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011   Writer
what cunning work you made of this mysterious muse of yours. what it means to me (and here comes the Rorschach test) is a study on feelings and relationships and perceptions; it's about how we think we own a state of mind and that it will never perish, like when we believe we have obtained a moment of satisfaction, a momentary flirtation with bliss that is carefully arranged by our neurochemical response to happenstance, as though in a lover's circle of protection, when suddenly we realize that life and our false expectations of it spring loose and leave us with nothing but the lasting memory of a struggle.

regardless, it's a wonderful piece.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
all right, i admit it: i ask what people think to find out how they think.
i like your interpretation :>

thank you!
Reply
:iconthehalenator:
thehalenator Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
the white sky and lake of milk remind me of the kind of imagery you find in The Book Thief.

have you read it?
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011
i have not. . .though i've heard of it. is it something i ought to have read?
Reply
:iconthehalenator:
thehalenator Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
well, if you enjoy WWII/Holocaust books that are beautifully written but a bit thick, then yes.
Reply
:iconthehalenator:
thehalenator Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
oh my god, this is fantastic...
i think it's about someone who realizes their relationship is built on control, and keeping his love captive. and realizing he has to let her go.
it feels like a straight male talking. fo sho.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011
thank you <3

when i re-read it with that in mind, i get this whole new set of mental images. . .it's sort of awesome

haha, i did sort of slip into that persona while writing it. by mistake. XD
Reply
:iconthehalenator:
thehalenator Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
woohoo! glad i could be of help!
PS It's a DOUCHEY straight male. he's got the controlling thing, but he's also wearing sunglasses.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
hey, i can be a douchey straight male if i want to be! right??
XD
Reply
:iconthehalenator:
thehalenator Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
yes you can c:
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
there is an artistic mistress within,
[not master, you, female to begin].

for shaking spears your words are worth,
encoded herewith, no careless mirth.

your breast and mind, talent therein...

this is fine poetry, Miss Rachael.

:)pip
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
thank you thank you~
i'm continually flattered
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
you received a very nice comment from
a poetry judge here on dA -
the 'chaos' fella upthread.
i linked you to him.

this news, so you know it's not just
'flattery'...

:)pip
Reply
:iconjulij90809:
JuliJ90809 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Student Writer
i don't know what the heck most of this could represent, but it creates some really cool images.
the lake of milk stanza is kind of unexpected, in a good way.
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011
to tell the truth, neither do i.

i guess it seems not very surreal until that point. . .i'm not sure what came over me XD
Reply
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