my grandmother's tartan bag sits on an upside-down bucket in the basement,
full to the brim with little liquor bottles and cardboard boxes
I go to do the laundry,
pass it twice an hour
and every time, just for a moment, I think she's visiting
This is perfect.
This is extremely solid.
Try reading it with a period after 'hour'
last line "every time I think she's visiting"
I'd almost suggest breaking that to read
"every time I think
You say a lot without many wasted words, provide enough details to be easily relate-able.
The brevity is what makes this feel so pure. It's just enough without being over-said. Well done.
i really love this. damn me for not checking my messages, this is gold.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Wow. amazing clarity. Take a simple image, experience, truth, and put so few words around it... just enough for us to see the thing you saw, and understand your pain. Even the title is wonderful.
I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, "Reason is the natural order of truth; but imagination is the organ of meaning." You have brought meaning.
I worry a lot about clarity, so it's nice to hear I'm doing an okay job on that front.
Well, I haven't had a chance yet to read any of your other work, but you definitely nailed it here.
It was really random that I stumbled across your poem here. My parents are in their 90's, and failing fast, so you just happened to poke at a rather raw place in my experience too. Sometimes, having someone else so eloquently portray the very emotion you are experiencing helps you understand, and in a way, cope with going through that journey.
Thank you for that gift.
a DD! congratulations, Rachael!
this is so beautiful and sad. You deserved that DD!
Oh god this is just~
Glad you think it's just. I'm not sure what kind of just that is, but thanks?
congrats on the DD!
this is actually quite good for being so short
Congrats on the feature. This really fulfills the promise of short form verse: a lifetime in a few lines. Well done.
Congrats to the DD <3
Major congrats on the well-deserved DD.
Congratulations on the DD -- very well deserved.
small and faceted as a gem
Wow! This is a masterpiece. I admire your ability to convey something so emotional in only a few words.
I love how you don't use periods at the end of your sentences. It really emphasizes the unending nature of your story.
Congratulations on a much deserved DD!
You're reading a lot more meaning into this than is there. I didn't use periods 'cause I'm lazy and I like the way it looks. 's far from a masterpiece.
congrats on the dd! >w<