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I tell you something I haven't told anyone in a long time
you say "I'm sry hun"
nothing bad results

I seek mirrors and hope I am reminding myself I am there,
not seeking to hurt

dear god, I don't believe in you
please make my mouth a door and not a cage
gibbous man
I am still growing up
I am trying to be more open
I think it's working

this isn't very well-written, but neither am I right now
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this is the first time I've driven a car in three months
this is the first time I've lain face down in the dirt in seven years

I have been all manner of strange places
this house, the strangest of all

if there's a magic number that will make strange places feel like home,
I don't know it
coming and going
I turned nineteen yesterday

my family is having Thanksgiving tomorrow instead of the normal time for Thanksgiving
the familiar/unfamiliar combination is hard
trying to figure out my new role in my life and in the lives of the people around me is hard
envisioning a future for myself is hard because I don't know what I want to do with myself

I find myself wishing I had no creative drive, and never had, because then perhaps I would be satisfied with the idea of a career that would be easy to succeed in
I don't want to be a creative type for a living because I know there's no way I could survive off it
there is some fundamental disconnect between different things I want
I don't know

it was a good birthday though
there was a full moon
my friends bought me Advil
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Hancock Building cuts the last blue haze of morning
Cumulus cover, uncover--sun burns off the cool of stone
Oak skitters beneath my feet

Joan and David speak French to each other on the library roof
Her plaid skirts, her smooth calf boots
His gleaming eye and gay pride pin
fall poem for ENG-0001-30
'go outside!' she said
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stand contrapposto in the shower
free leg busted,
engaged leg calf cut like stone
hot water touching you the way so many have
the way so few have

growing out the hair dye
growing in the sideburns

these people
as though every masculine or feminine trait
makes you more legitimate
self made
no one has ever shoved my face in a urinal and I am very pleased about this

I have worked very hard to get where I am and I am pleased about this too
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Gatorade, warm, reminds me of blood
of oral sex

the salt of human sweat, replaced
by an orange-flavored beverage

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consolecadet's Profile Picture
consolecadet
Ray
United States
Sometimes, when I'm not writing prose, drawing pictures, or living, I write poetry.

Hi all,
Long time no journal (again).

A lot is going on. I'm in the midst of gender transition, which is going great, and I'm headed off to Tufts in about a week and a half.

One of the biggest things that's going on is that I'm working on a near-future science fiction short story collection. It's called 'Biophone' and I plan to put it out via Amazon CreateSpace some time in the next couple of weeks. All the writing is done, but I'm in the thick of revisions.

I’m looking for volunteers to critique bits of the collection. The bits are all between about 700 and 1500 words, and shouldn’t take more than an hour to read through and leave comments on. You don’t need to be a writer or a poet. The more eyes of varying knowledge and background I can get on this thing, the better it’ll turn out.

Your time is valuable. I’d be super grateful if you could contribute a few minutes of it to my project. 

Let me know if you’re interested by emailing me at consolecadet @ gmail . com. If you’re not interested, please consider telling your friends.

I'm more than willing to trade crit for crit.

Now: how are you all doing?

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:icontevo77777:
Tevo77777 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Student Artist
Enjoy turning whatever age you are now, it only happens once a year.
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(1 Reply)
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014
happy birthday :cake:
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(1 Reply)
:iconpomohippie7:
pomohippie7 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014   Writer
Thank you for the favorite. :heart:
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(1 Reply)
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
thank you so much for the watch :love:
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(1 Reply)
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner May 27, 2014   Writer
Hello! wave remake 

Just dropping by to say thank you for adding me to your watch, it's very much appreciated! :happy: 
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(1 Reply)
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